A bit of a smile

I was doing my normal bit of surfing today and wandered on over to B3TA for a bit. There is usually something good over there to make me laugh. They had a little game going on of finding the strangest Amazon.com product reviews. You know, for every product they sell, there is an area for customers to review the product. Well, I found this one that just cracked me up. Here is the entire review along with a link so you can check it out for yourself.


Text from review:

Reviewer: An Amazon.com Customer from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania United States
This book is one of the most disjointed novels I've read in a long while. If you think about it, it's more a collection of short stories by various authors that tell the story of God and his sundry children, most of them Hebraic. God is a pretty powerful heavy, though it's implied that he incorporeal and invisible. Although he's usually depicted in the movies sitting on a throne and sporting a long beard, in "Exodus," he appears as a bolt of fire. Other places in the book, he speaks as a burning bush. Excellent special fx all throughout.

There's a lot of begats going on, and in the chapter titled "Song of Solomon," we get a nice PG-13 to R-rated glimpse of the ... sensual mores of these people.

There's also a pretty cool story about this guy named Job and how God had an ongoing bet with Satan as to who would win his soul. I don't want to give away the ending, but there's a lot of pathos, hubris and plotlines right out of such movies as "Trading Places," "Meet John Doe" and "Life Stinks."

My favorite one, though is about Moses, and how he led his people out of Egypt and to the promised land. Along the way, though, Dathan tries to make them worship a golden calf. Personally, I preferred the movie version, as directed by Cecil B. deMille: The character development of Moses (played by Chuck Heston), Dathan (Edward G. Robinson) and Moses' mother (the ever comely Anne Baxter) is much improved. And also, in Technicolor.

There is little plot to this book, save for in the second half, much of which revolves around God's son, Jesus, an interesting fellow. Definitely, the story has finally hit a stride, so the New Testament reads like a novella. Everywhere this Jesus guy goes, he travels with his posse of "Apostles," who aren't your standard yes men. Although they all sing his praises when the going's good, one gives a great "I don't know about no Jesus" performance (Peter) worthy of a scruffy rat like Steve Buscemi. Another (Judas) sells out Jesus for a bunch of dead presidents, like Sean Penn did in "Carlito's Way." Unfortunately, Jesus gets rubbed out by an Italian gang, "The Romans," who torture him and nail him to a cross in revenge for representing on their turf. Lots of high drama here.

"Revelations" was pretty weird, sort of like watching "Fantasia" while doing mushrooms, only a lot scarier.

Altogether, an excellent read.

[Listening to: Wonderboy -by- Tenacious D ]